We have many prayer requests each day, and a lot of them can seem like they go unanswered. We barter and plead, but we receive no answer. Is this proof that God isn’t good, or is this a sign of his Fatherly kindness and wisdom? How should we view unanswered prayers?

Walking through suffering can feel as if we’re stumbling through a foggy, endless night, unable to ever find the light again. Here are three lampposts to guide us through.

When prayers go unanswered, we tend to believe God is no longer for us. But what if we're missing all the prayers we never even prayed for?

We’re exhorted to seek solitude, journal towards holiness, go on nature walks to connect with God, and take extended periods of silence to listen and clear our minds. Do all these practices and more, they say, to grow closer to God and be holy. Dear reader, do all these checklist items miss the theological and even practical mark that the Bible lays out for us?

Growing up, I always craved the intimate relationship I saw that others had with God. But it seemed like this intimate relationship was always out of reach. What I didn’t realize is that in Christ, God has provided the way for me to have an intimate relationship with him—one of speaking and listening, of learning and growing in love.

Thanksgiving doesn’t come naturally to our hearts. It appears as the most easy of prayers, yet it’s often the one we neglect the most. If we collected all our complaints and praises in a jar, we might be shocked by which one bubbled up to the top. Why is this? How do we grow in thanksgiving when it doesn’t come naturally?

Do you wonder why God never speaks to you? Pastors, conference speakers, mentors, and friends all hear from God. But all you hear is the humming of your dishwasher. You never feel any nudges or hear any whispers. Maybe you’re starting to wonder if God loves you less.

The night before the cross, Jesus took his friends to a common place: the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew His suffering, humiliation, and death were near, but He didn’t hide. Instead, He prayed and asked His closest friends to pray with Him. In this prayer, he instructs us how to pray in the midst of our suffering.

I can spend days mulling over thoughts and concerns in my head or one day blurt them out in a text to a friend, but how often do I bring these petitions to my Heavenly Father? In suffering, my prayer life can become wobbly. Why? Here are just a handful of reasons why prayer is hard during suffering and how God’s grace covers us even in those weak hours.

Rather than continuing to stumble my way through the same prayer each morning, I found a journal and started writing my prayers. Writing our prayers can diversifying our requests and praise, focus our minds, and preach the truths to our hearts.

God has taught me to love the Psalms and rest in them. In weary times when my mind is too tired to focus and my heart is jumbled and distracted, I have found rest in studying the Psalms. I didn’t believe that a study of the Psalms would challenge me like it has and cause such growth. I was a fool to doubt God’s beautiful and inspired Word.